Here's an idea I've been trying to phrase right for the past three months. I'm not sure I've gotten it quite nailed down just yet, but here is the latest version.

Everyone always says, "Everything happens for a reason." Everyone always says, "Maybe one day we'll understand why God took your dad away so suddenly."

But here's the thing. I don't think there's a single "reason." I don't think there are multiple "reasons," either. I think he died because that is life, and bad things happen and people get sick and people die. I refuse to say to myself, "ah, these things I am learning about life, about dealing with grief, about my own strength, about the importance of family and love and friends--these are why my dad died at the peak of his life." I refuse to think, "I see now: God let my dad die so that we could learn valuable life lessons, or whatever."

No. My dad died. And the things I am learning, the painfully beautiful moments that have happened in my life since that dreadful day, are not the reason this happened. God is working in my life so that I can survive my grief. My dad's death is the reason I am learning and growing and (I hope) will ultimately be happy and strong and whole.
It's not, and never will be, the other way around.

 Hmm. I think it needs some work. Three months and counting.